Twitter is a treasure trove of humor, with countless tweets that have left us laughing out loud. Here are some of the funniest tweets that have graced our timelines:
- @TheTweetOfGod
- Tweet: “I have created a new website for people who want to follow me but don’t want to actually interact with me. It’s called: ‘God-Only-Fans.’”
- @simoncholland
- Tweet: “Being an adult is just walking around wondering what you’re forgetting.”
- @chrissyteigen
- Tweet: “I’m going to start a petition to make it so that when you’re at a bar and you see someone you don’t like, you can just walk up to them and say, ‘I’m sorry, but you’re in my seat.’”
- @TheRealTroyMcClure
- Tweet: “My son just asked me if I’ve ever been in the military. I told him, ‘No, but I’ve been in the military discount line at the grocery store.’”
- @joshgroban
- Tweet: “I’m like a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I don’t know what I’m doing here and I’m just waiting for something to happen.”
- @BoredElonMusk
- Tweet: “I’ve been trying to think of a new way to cook chicken. I’m going to try to cook it with a flamethrower. I hear it’s a game-changer.”
- @DadSaysJokes
- Tweet: “I asked my wife to let me know the next time she has an orgasm. She said she doesn’t like to bother me when I’m at work.”
- @jessicadunkley
- Tweet: “I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.”
- @NicolasCage
- Tweet: “If you see a crocodile in your pool, don’t panic. Just invite him to a swim and ask him to leave when he’s finished.”
- @LolaH
- Tweet: “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”
- @michaelianblack
- Tweet: “I once got into a fight with a four-year-old. I’m not proud of it. But he started it by asking me if I wanted to play a game. I said no, and then he tried to hit me with a block.”
- @sarcasticRover
- Tweet: “I just finished my workout for the day. It was a tough one. I had to lift a pint of ice cream to my mouth like 10 times.”
- @ItsRosie
- Tweet: “I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman, but have you ever seen us in the same room together?”
- @BrandonStraka
- Tweet: “I’ve never seen a penguin in the wild, but I’m pretty sure if I did, it would just be staring at me like, ‘What are you doing here?’”
- @mattbellassai
- Tweet: “I’m not good at math, but I know that 3/4 of a pizza is more than 1/4. And that’s really all I need to know.”
These tweets showcase the diverse humor found on Twitter, from witty one-liners to clever observations. Whether you’re in need of a quick laugh or just browsing for some entertainment, these gems are sure to brighten your day.
