Forwarded Funnies

Buford walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Buford said Shingles. So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

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Just in case you weren't feeling old enough today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the Faculty a sense of the mindset of the year's incoming freshman.

Here is the 2007 list:

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Hillbillies and Texans

G-Rated

Three Hillbillies from West Virginia and three Texans are traveling by train to the Super Bowl in Florida. At the station, the three Texans each buy a ticket and watch as the three Hillbillies buy just one ticket between them.

"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of the Texans.

"Watch and learn," answers one of the Hillbillies.

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Definition Question [PICS]

PG-Rated

Is this statutory rape?

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Flying Lessons [PIC]

PG-Rated

My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year.

Yesterday afternoon she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing in Northern Alabama because of bad weather. Thank God our kids were with me at the Beach House this weekend.

The NTSB issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error: She was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating) rating.

The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured.

Photographs below were taken at the scene show the extent of damage to her aircraft.

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How to be Cruel to Old Guys... [PIC]

PG-Rated

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Daddy Longlegs

PG-Rated

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

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The Aisle Seat

PG-Rated

Two Radical Arab Terrorists boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat... Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, 'I need to get up and get a coke.' 'Don't get up,' said the Marine, 'I'm in the aisle seat, 'I'll get it for you.'

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